Utrecht, Netherlands

"You must go back zee otha way!"

Unfortunately we didn’t get to see much of the historic Utrecht because we were too busy getting lost in the suburbs in our rental car. Arriving in Utrect at the correct location was the most confusing travel experience we have ever had. We don’t know why it was so hard to get where we were going but it was absolutely horrible. We followed the directions off the highway, but couldn’t understand how we were supposed to exit the massive roundabout. We drove back and fourth all over the city trying to figure it out and around the roundabout many times. At one point we ended up very far from the city where Bryan somehow took us for miles on a bike path that was barricaded off from the highway next to it. Doing our best not to hit bikers in the dark while we raped their bike path with our car, we eventually were able to exit into a suburban office building parking lot where we realized we were hopelessly lost and Megan began to bark orders out as to what to do next. It was in this moment, at the peak of frustration and irritation that Bryan slapped Megan across the face it attempt to force his woman to regain some composure (this was his first and last wife-beating experience). Knowing she was about to burst into laughter at what the ridiculousness of the evening had led them to she hopped out of the car in an attempt to look angry over it. After reconciling and laughing about what had happened, two gym bound Dutch men emerged in full body gray sweatsuits, looking like dead ringers for Hans and Franz (above right). They were our knights in sweaty gray sweatsuits, telling us we were very far from Wilhemena Park which was all the way in Utrecht. “We are not in Utrecht anymore?” They told us which way to go and we headed back where we had come. Eventually we wound up circling the same area we had been over an hour ago, but with help from Bryan’s sister Jimi, we finally made it two her dorm.

Her dorm was located in former army barracks, and the dorm below her had caught on fire earlier in the day. The entire room was charred to black (left), but the rest of the building was unharmed. We didn’t sleep easy knowing that the building had no fire alarms and was filled with pothead students (who presumably started the first fire in a pot smoking haze). We stayed in her room on the air mattress we had brought, for 3 nights. It was free and pretty comfortable. The only complaint about the accommodation was the bathroom/shower.  There was no separation between bathroom and shower. The bathroom just happened to have a shower head and floor drain. So when you shower everything would get wet, including the toilet paper, and then when you were done you could use a giant squidgy to clean the water from all edges of the room into the drain. The drain, which was also very clogged, so you showered in a pool of water. Gross.